Conclusions
by polka-dotted-pengiuns
Summary: I wonder if I would get into trouble if I super glued him to a urinal' How the famous couple got together, a LilyJames oneshot.


Conclusions

**Alice?**

_Lily?_

**I have a problem.**

_Please, describe this problem._

You see, I have these two girls sitting next to me. And like, they wont stop passing these notes things, and I swear that I'm going to like, rip their heads off.

**Lupin?**

Like _what?_

**Like, get the hell out of my note.**

Like FINE!

**Alice?**

_Lily?_

REMUS!

**Die.**

I'd rather not, thanks. 

**I have a problem.**

_Please, describe this problem._

**I have come to a worrying conclusion.**

_Please, describe this conclusion._

Well, you see. These girls, are like TOTALLY passing notes. And these girls also happen to be like TOTALLY on each side of me, making it TOTALLY impossible for me to take notes with all their note passing in front of me. I'm going to FAIL this class thing.

_Not cool Lupin, not cool._

**My conclusion is that, **

Like NO WAY! OMG, we need ice cream.

**Thank you Alice. See, somebody knows manners. **

How is that manners? She like, totally ripped the parchment out of my like. . . _hands._ (Insert blank stare and ditzy giggle)

_Thank the lord you're not a girl._

I do on a daily basis Alice. Don't worry.

_What was the point of this note again?_

**I'll tell you in transfiguration.**

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Alice?**

_Lily?_

_Oh, FUN! A note!_

**Go away Black.**

_Rudeness lily dearest. Not nice. _

**Do you think I would get in trouble if I super glued him to the inside of a urinal?**

_Violence is not the answer, Lily-pops._

_I think you would get an award for special services to the school. _

**Do you think anybody would try to find him, if I did?**

_Potter would, he'd miss his crack buddy._

_HUGS NOT DRUGS!_

**EW! EW! EW!****GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! HELP ME!**

…

**Thank you, Alice. That was quite the creative hex.**

_Pervert. Shouldn't go around hugging people like that. Glad you liked it. Is he going to the hospital wing? _

**I think he is. Yep. Lupin is taking him. Heh. I'm fixing that moment in my memory forever. Heh heh. **

_So what was your conclusion?_

**The bell just rang, I'll tell you in potions. **

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Alice?**

_Lily?_

**Help me?**

_Peter, what do you want?_

**To know if my potion is supposed to smell like that?**

**No. it's supposed to smell vaguely of roses.**

**Oh. **

_Oh, indeed. Did somebody just pass out?_

**What if it doesn't? And yes, oops. **

**Then you're screwed. You messed up the most important part. **

**Oh. **

_Oh, indeed._

**What if I add this?**

**NOOO!**

**Ow. You didn't have to hit me with that. I added shredded caterpillars, will that help. **

_Duck in cover, Petey Pie, duck in cover. _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Alice?**

_Lily?_

**Why are we passing notes in the hospital wing. **

_Because, my lips were glued shut, and you got it full blast in your ears. _

**Oh. Why is she not curing us now?**

Because she's trying to find enough bandages to mop me up.

**Potter?**

None other.

_So YOU were that bloodied lump on the sheets._

That's me. Ain't I perty.

_Yes, dashing. So what were you saying lils?_

**Forget it. I'll tell you when I can hear what I'm saying and your lips are unglued together so you can speak your amazing words of wisdom.**

OOH OOH! PICK ME! PICK ME! I HAVE WORDS OF WISDOM!

_Dude. If you had any sort of wisdom at all, you wouldn't look like that._

True.

**Here she comes. **

_Joy. Is that supposed to be smoking?_

Yes.

**Is that thing coming any where near me? **

Yes.

_Does it hurt?_

Very much.

_Run for your life lilykins!_

…

**Damn.**

She caught you didn't she?

_Who knew someone so old could run so fast?_

**She's got the thing again. **

I suggest you hold hands. This wont be pleasant. Stay strong.

_Dear Merlin._

**DINNER**

**GREAT HALL**

"Alice?"

"Lily?'

"Come with me."

"Why are we whispering?"

"Because. Come."

The girls crept quietly out of the great hall. Lily scanned the area. She grinned.

"Come here."

Alice followed her, confused, to the door of the broom closet.

". . .A broom closet lily."

"Well, I need to discus my worrying conclusion, and apparently our usual method isn't working. So, yes Alice, broom closet."

She opened the door.

"URGH!"

"SCARRED!"

"What are you doing in here?" Screeched Sirius. Taking his lips, momentarily off the girls.

"Trying to have a discussion between friends, is that too hard to do these days." Said Lily back.

"Well, he's _my_ 'friend' so back off." Said the girl. Sirius shrugged his shoulders at them as the tall blonde slammed the door shut.

"Okay," muttered Alice, "Library?"

"Library." Confirmed Lily.

Lily grabbed Alice's wrist and dragged her all the way to the library running as fast as she could. She went to the Spot. It was their Spot. It had their names there and everything. The only person that dared to ever sit in their Spot was—

"Remus!"

"Alice! Are you guys alright? What's going on?"

"Nothing Remus, nothing at all." Muttered lily, dragging Alice again.

"Tree place?" Asked Alice.

"Tree place," confirmed lily.

Lily once again grabbed Alice's wrist and dragged her away. This time to the grounds, to their favorite tree.

"Ah, okay, they're gone."

"So what'd you want to tell me?"

"To have no fear, James Potter is here!"

And as luck would have it, James Potter was sitting up in the tree.

Lily whimpered

"This is by far, the worst day of my life."

Lily dragged Alice back up to the castle. She stopped on the way to the common room and grinned.

"What are you thinking?"

Lily just pulled out her wand and pointed it up.

"_Accio marauders!"_

". . .You're either very smart, or very stupid."

Lily grinned as she heard shrieks getting nearer and nearer.

"A bit of both actually," they could see the boys hurtling down the deserted hallway. She smiled once more at Alice, and they both ducked. The boys crashed into the door of the boy's bathroom.

Alice grinned and held out her hand, staring at the moaning boys. Lily ginned back, dug into her pocket and produced a tube of super glue.

Ever sense that fateful day, nothing but a full moon scared Remus more, than that tube of super glue.

Lily handed it to Alice who wordlessly shoved the boys into a urinal, after covering their backs in super glue. She ran out of urinals and glued James to a stall door.

"What's going on, Lily?" Asked Remus.

"This," and with that, Lily walked over to the stall door, bent James' head down, and kissed him right on the lips. "This is what's is going on."

"Can this go on more often?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Hardly anybody questioned why Sirius Black was not seen for two days after that scene in the boy's bathroom. After all, he was known for skipping classes.

Even less people questioned the Special Services to the School award Lily Evans received in the post the next morning, courtesy of Professor McGonagall.

When James asked, Lily just kissed his nose, and told him to shut up and eat his toast.

AN- Im not amazingly proud of this at all, but I was bored. So tell me what you think. And if you put a story on favorites, or in a c2, it's only polite to review said story if you liked it that much.


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